53. Geospatial Friday - Halloween Special

 
 

 

WARNING: Reader discretion is advised. Some Geospatialists may find the following to be extremely disturbing.

 

It's that time of the year again when things take on a dark, sinister tone and fear and superstition prevails.

If you think that Halloween is just something that stands ‘trick or treating’ on your doorstep then you are dangerously mistaken.

 

 
 

The geospatial workplace is now home to paranormal creatures who are wreaking terror and havoc in various ways.

 

ZOMBIES

 
 

These lifeless creatures spend their day shuffling around the office searching for fresh life to consume. They have a constant craving for innovative employees and will stop at nothing to satisfy their need.

Be warned, zombies are infected with a contagious virus that rots any geospatial initiative or enthusiasm. Be sure to stand at a safe distance from these creatures (zombies are slow-moving) and never get cornered by one at the water-cooler.

Ghastly!

Warning Signs: Zombies can assume the role of a person of any age, gender or race. Watch out for a general lack of enthusiasm and an unwillingness to explore innovative solutions.

 

WITCHES

 
 

These wicked, sinister creatures bear a constant grudge against the world and cast deadly spells on victims in order to inflict much suffering and misery.

Witches can often be found in IT and data management positions within the organisation. This way they can concoct spells in the form of restrictive data management procedures.

Spine Tingling...

Warning Signs: Witches usually occupy more senior positions within organisations and travel between the departments either by broomstick or elevator. Watch out for colleagues who have cat photos on their desks - especially black ones.

 

FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER

 
 

Although they assume a human appearance, the Frankenstein monster is not a geospatial professional at all and should be treated with caution. They are ’creations’ which have gone awry and can cause significant destruction to an organisation. It is said that this sunken-eyed monster was born when a well-meaning professional set an administrative colleague up with open source GIS software and access to spatial datasets.

Horrendous!

Warning signs: The sudden appearance of poor quality maps consisting of clunky labels, large symbols and bright map styles. Terrifying data management evidence and folder structures are another warning sign.

 

VAMPIRES

 
 

Like zombies, these evil creatures will suck the life out of any geospatial professional. Vampires remain dormant earlier in the day and begin to stalk unsuspecting geospatial professionals towards the end of the workday. If you suspect that a vampire is in your workplace then make sure that your lunch diet consists of lots of garlic.

Evil.

Warning signs: Colleagues who seek 'urgent' map/data requests or updates just when you are about to go home for the day.

Stay safe...